Saturday, July 11, 2009

honest author bio

I came across this a long time ago and found it completely hilarious.

The bios of many authors seem to follow a certain pattern. They include quirky job histories that show what a unique character the author is (rag picker, hand model, mule trainer, UFC commentator). They include references to the author's long-suffering spouse, and usually numerous cats.

I, clairification, have a long-suffering spouse and currently two cats, and my job history does include some quirkiness (reservist in the Canadian Forces; tree-planter; night manager at a fast-food drive-thru; portrait photographer). However, none of this really, to my mind, encapsulates who I am as an author.

Herewith, the first instalment of the Honest Author Bio of yours truly:

clairification always wanted to be a boy, until she discovered that boys are expected to play T-ball.

Or:

clairification has failed her driving test four times. She still does not hold a license. When her husband wishes to leave the car parked illegally, clairification will not accept the keys, and until he returns, she will walk about nervously, pretending the car belongs to someone else.

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